Loretta Lynn's MTDR Ride Report
April 5-7 2002

DISCLAIMER #1: If you live within 450 miles of Hurricane Mills, TN and you like to ride nasty single track trail AND you didn't make it to this ride, you should be Horse Whipped. You missed a good one…I couldn't have been any better than it was.

DISCLAIMER #2: If you qualified for disclaimer number one, then you should start planning now for next year's MTDR ride at the Ranch. I know that they don't even know if they're going to do another next year and that they don't know what the date is going to be, but you should just block out all of March and April just to be safe. You don't want to make the same stupid mistake twice!!

OK, now on to the ride, the adventure, the beer, and the details. We rolled out of Birmingham about 1:00 on Friday afternoon. We went through all of the usual road trip situations, stopped for gas, had to buy groceries, got stuck behind a short school bus, we were almost hit by a dump truck and Larry (Julius Pleaser on DRN) was almost run over by an 18-wheeler!

There was on instance of justice on our road trip. There was this woman in a white Dodge caravan who was out of control. After she road Larry's back bumper for a while, she made the pass on Larry and moved up to Bobby and I. Bobby looked at me and said: "I wonder where she's going to fit in (to the fast lane where we were)?" Then, all of a sudden she comes over on us…there's not enough room, and she's going to clip the front of Bobby's truck! Bobby jams on the brakes and she slides in line in front of us. Bobby's throwing a long string of obscenities her way. 50 miles later, after we cross the state line into Tenn., we see her pulled over on the side of the Interstate have a nice conversation with a Tennessee state trooper. YES!! Bobby and I high five; Larry flashes his lights in approval.

About 6:30 we pull up to the entrance to the campground at the Ranch. The John Candy looking rent-a-cop takes our 40 bucks for two nights of camping and gives us some stickers for our cars. Bobby, Larry and I get our tents set up just as the sun dips behind the mountains. After zooming through the sign-up, we head back into town for some dinner at the local Mexican dump.

When we get back to our campsite after dinner, we meet the guy in the space next to us, and notice that 3 of our buddies from Birmingham have also arrived and got a spot about 4 spaces away. We get a small fire going, and start into the adult beverages. It was starting to get Cold!! The fire was more for looks than heat, but we didn't have very much wood.

They guy, (next to us, I can't remember his name) is from Winchester, TN, and he's waiting on 6 other riding friends to show up and camp with him. About 10:30, his friends show up. These guys were a regular comedy show. They had obviously stopped on the way up and had a few. We watched them stumble around and try to set up tents and easy-ups. Eventually, the pulled their chairs over and joined us at the fire.

I fell into bed just before midnight. Bikes fire up right at 6:00am. Thanks Bill! I'm awake. I would have laid there for a while, but it was too cold. So, I put on all the clothes that I have and go out for a walk. I walked down to look at the National MX track and then back up to the campground to find Mike (Mikeb on DRN). It was about 6:30, and the only thing Mike could offer me for breakfast was double stuff Oreos. So, I had three.

By now, my guys are stirring. At 7:30, BillZ (DR.billZ on XDB) and two other MTDR pre-riders pop out of the woods at the end of the trail, which happens to be right at our campsite. I introduce myself to Bill, and he leads me over to meet Curtis (ThumprDing on XDB). Curtis happens to be in the campsite next to the rest of our Bham crew.

We do the riders meeting and in my first attempt to meet 4Banger, I found out that there are like 10 guys from Goodlettsville who ride KTMs! Oh well.

As Mike said, it takes our group a good 35-40 minutes to get ready to go. Bobby and I ride the first 1.5 miles of the trail and loop back to the camp while we're waiting on Bill, Larry and the two Mikes to get ready to go. Finally, we set off on our first loop. They're six of us in our group. Bill Porter, (not BillZ) is an A Enduro rider and is pretty fast. Bobby and I are middle pack B riders, Mike Lollar is a SR. C rider and then Mike Hodges is a survival mode rider and Larry (Pleaser) is an experienced trail rider.

So, we set out on the first 21 and 5-foot loop. We tended to get spread out due to the traffic and our various riding skills. We stopped first at about the 3.5-mile marker to regroup. While we were hanging out there, I had a chance to meet some other DRN guys from Owensboro, KY. Sorry guys, it was nice to meet you, but I don't remember your names.

The trail was great. It was tight in some places and technical in a few spots with tree roots and lots of off-camber sections. We stopped again around the 9-mile marker. There was little uphill that people were having trouble with, and it provided some great entertainment while we caught our breath and regrouped.

From there, we rode out to the 16-mile marker. This section, from the 11-mile marker to the 16-mile marker was my favorite section of the whole loop. There was lots of sweeping trail that ran through the valleys followed by long gradual uphill climbs and trails on the ridges. The dirt in this section was that nice loamy brown dirt, traction was great, and there was no dust! Big grins all around.

Just before the 16-mile marker, there was a ridge where we stopped to rest and spectator where we could see the trail in the valley below followed by a nice hill climb. Again, there were many riders that were fun to watch.

The last 5 miles of the loop was more open and high speed. On our first loop, we ripped through the last 5 miles and then had lunch.

We did another lap on the 21-mile loop after lunch, and we suffered a few casualties. I got into a vine and ended up with some lacerations on my neck. Bill lost the axle nut on his KTM and had to take and early out back to the truck. Mike Hodges crashed out on the first lap and didn't start the second one. Larry hung in there with Bobby and I to the end.

Saturday night was a lot of fun. Everyone had stories about the day's ride. We grilled up some steaks and settled in around the campfire.

Sunday morning was a lot quieter than the morning before. People were tired. Hardly anyone had his or her gear on at the Sunday morning rider's meeting. They told us that they had 490 riders registered by Saturday night. I'm sure that they broke 500 by the time Sunday registrations were added in.

We geared up and did one more loop on Sunday morning. My arms felt totally useless for the first 5 miles. Then I got warmed up and got a second wind. We made good time through the loop and kept up a pretty fast pace. We stopped at basically the same places to visit with riders and watch other riders tackle the trail. This was some really fine trail. The kind of stuff that we're used to riding here in Alabama.

By Sunday, some of the off-cambers had turned into no-cambers, and there were some pretty deep ruts with lots of exposed roots. Also, the course was drying out, and there were a couple of sections where a little dust was kicked up.

Immediately after finishing the loop, I went over and borrowed Jim's (KelvinKDX on DRN) KDX to take for a quick spin. Jim just got an Eric Gore 225 kit put in his '99 KDX 200. Man, that thing was a torque monster. The only downside that I saw was that the power signed off in the mid-range. Short shifting was definitely the way to make that bike go fast. It was great in the tight stuff. I road the 4-mile novice loop and then handed the bike back to Jim. Thank Jim.

We loaded up and headed back to Alabama. It was a great ride and an awesome weekend.

A big thanks goes out to all of the MTDR and VSTA members who worked so hard to make this event a reality. It was a first class event all around. I got a chance to meet and ride with a lot of really great people. We'll definitely be back next year. Thanks.

-Tim Roberts