“Biological Warfare…???”

There was a time when I would have simply dismissed such an idea as the one currently under discussion as just ‘conspiracy-theory gibberish’ or some such ridiculous notion. However, as things evolve in ‘the-world-as-we-know-it’ there are certain once unheard of possibilities which have become well-documented as common occurrences.

Everyday actions of some unscrupulous members of what passes for Society in today’s America would never have even crossed the minds of some of the people who my grandparents’ generation considered to be deviants and hardened criminals. However, the steady decline of ‘accepted standards of behavior’ over the last few decades has delivered us to a point early in the 21st Century at which little, if anything, really surprises most of us today. It is this decline in ‘standard behavior’ coupled with the absurdly hostile general attitude of many of the people aligned with the twisted goals of the anti-access groups we face in our efforts to preserve trails and riding areas in our National Forests that gives life to the current theory I have regarding a recent development.

Without going into a lot of boring detail (suffice it to say things just weren’t falling conveniently into place for me) various details combined to result in my arriving at the Masterlinks’ 2008 Hare-Scramble a little too late to get everything ready & make it to the Starting Line on time. All things considered (especially the typical difficulties I encounter practically every day of my life), it is actually somewhat surprising that I ever make it to the Starting Line of any event on time. But I digress…

Upon resigning myself to the fact that I would not be riding, I set about my usual routine of checking around to see if there might be something I could do to help with the execution of the event that might, by some stroke of luck, make the overall process run smoother than if I simply sat around in the shade watching everybody else going about the pleasant and enjoyable task of riding as fast as possible in dust that reminded me of some of my early oilfield days on the vast parched plains of West Texas. I was actually a member of the International Society of Oilfield Trash before J.R. Ewing ever made his television debut and helped put a whole new complexion on the Oil Industry. Ah, for the carefree days of coveralls and hard-hats, the scent of warm drilling mud on a cool fall evening and 3 A.M. breakfast with the Frac Crew. But, again, I digress…

It has long been established that my sinus system does not respond well to excessive amounts of talcum-powder-consistency dust (mud with absolutely all of the juice squeezed out) and such allergens as tree pollen, etc. However, I had been feeling quite good about the fact that I had, so far, managed to avoid the usual early-spring bout with allergy/sinus conditions which prompted me a few years ago to buy stock in several pharmaceutical companies specializing in antihistamines and related products (in an effort to recoup some of my expenses through quarterly dividends paid on the enormous profits from my purchases every year). I am thoroughly convinced that my excellent physical conditioning would, once again, have allowed me to withstand the ravages of the several cubic feet of dust that I am certain I inhaled while attempting to point riders in the general direction of the Scoring Tent Entrance during the period of two hours or so that numerous riders so successfully demonstrated that they could not find on their own (a few of whom continued to have trouble even with the superb directions I was giving during the event…). While there were brief periods when the dust in my immediate area reminded a lot of some of the video footage from the World Trade Center on 9/11 as the buildings were collapsing, overall, it just didn’t seem like a really large deal.

But there are indications that all was not as it seemed that day. When one begins to consider numerous details which likely would go unnoticed by the casual observer, it becomes quite clear that evil forces were, indeed, at work at Wiggins. While the race was actually run on private land, it is interesting that several sections of the course run along the property-line within a few feet of National Forest Land. Ordinarily, this would not be of any particular consequence, but one has to remember that we are no longer living in those simpler times when most things were actually as they appeared at first glance. Watching but a few episodes of the wildly popular CSI television shows clearly indicates the lengths to which some twisted and devious individuals will go these days to reach a goal. And with all the information currently available on the Internet with instructions for concocting all manner of chemical mixtures designed to inflict harm on people considered to be ‘enemies of the cause’ (whatever the latest ‘cause’ might be), it is easy to conclude the very real possibility that someone could stoop to such tactics, especially those who would like to see me rendered unable to mount significant resistance to the latest organized effort to lock us out of more of our National Forests. And with the Final Decision to be made on exactly how much more of our National Forests in Mississippi we are no longer allowed access to, the timing falls precisely into place.

There are those, I am sure, who will accuse me of being overly paranoid. However, I would refer these individuals to that bleak period a few years ago when I was accused, by some, of being paranoid in thinking that there was a covert movement in progress to overthrow the ‘management’ of my club. I admit that I also felt the occasional urge to pass it all off as just a ‘feeling that somebody was out to get me’ and go about Life-as-usual. Of course, after the attempted ‘overthrow’ was not successful, it was fairly evident that somebody had, indeed, been ‘out to get me’ just as I had believed. I seem to have some sort of ‘Sixth Sense’ when it comes to such things.

As this literary offering is being composed, I am currently in my second week of full-blown sinus congestion/infection the likes of which I had only heard rumors of in the past and which appears to be resistant to traditional medical treatment. After successfully warding off the typical spring allergy problems I had anticipated earlier in the season, I am convinced that some barbaric individual (or group of individuals), being aware that I would likely be in the specific area on June1, conspired and executed a ‘chemical attack’ on me (nice guy that I am) by lacing the soil along the National Forest Border that joins the Masterlinks’ Hare-Scramble area with a noxious mixture of biological toxins to be delivered through the process of dust being blown in my direction and aimed at making me sufficiently ill so as not to be ‘at the top of my game’ when the time came to launch another resistance to Land-Locking by the Forest Service. I am not pointing the finger of blame at anyone specific; I can’t be sure who the guilty party(s) might be at this point. I am quite certain, though, that it would have to been some thoroughly organized Eco-Freak Group familiar with my outlook on communistic land-closures and my previous efforts to preserve access to our National Forests.

I am sure there are those who are currently refusing to believe that anyone would go to such lengths to push an agenda (twisted & un-American as it may be). I realize that most people are not entirely familiar with some of the anti-access groups we face and the terrorist tactics some of them are willing to employ. And there are likely still people who recall a more innocent time when such activities would not even cross anyone’s mind. But then, there was a time, not so long ago, when no patriotic American would ever have predicted that somebody would fly three jet airplanes loaded with innocent passengers into some of the most prominent buildings in America.

I rest my case…